i've been having bad dreams almost every day. i dont know why. not only were they bad, but weird at the same time. it has been a few times that i found my pillow and my face wet when i woke up. i cant differentiate whether i'm now in reality or i'm living in my own fairy land. i cant differentiate between right and wrong. and i cant differentiate between good and evil. its just like you were born yesterday, with no ability to get things right. i dont know what is in my mind now. i feel like screaming out loud. i hope to have my presence felt. if its possible i would like to go around and have some ass kicking, but i know that would not solve my problem. what should i do now. can anybody tell me? i do know even know whats wrong with me and what am i suffering. stress? i doubt so. i remember in the past i used to think that life is meaningless. haha, i really find myself damn stupid that time to think that way. but guess what, thats what i think now. the feeling came back to me once again. that kind of thought, even i'm afraid of myself now. i dont know when and where i will do silly things thats not in my control. and i dont know who the victim will be. i dont wish to hurt anyone. and i dont wish to hurt myself. previously i've said that there will be no more mr. nice guy. totally zero tolerance. but still, i swallow my anger and what i'm unhappy about one by one. i just dont wish to have any hard feelings, since this is my last year in unity. but you all think that is the right way? i've got no rights to snap? like zidane? the problem is when and where should i snap. and again who the victim will be. me myself also hope to leave this school with many nice memories. and honestly speaking, i want to go prom night very much. thats what i've been waiting for. but is there a need to? will anyone care whether i attend or not? basil? haHA. very funny. does my existence mean anything to anyone? and my friends make use and make fun of me again and again AND AGAIN ! in all kinds of ways, without even concerning about my FEELINGS ! what is this? BULLSHIT ! if i can i feel like jumping down after i post this entry and by then everything would come to an end. if you all want the game to end faster then just bring it. i'm waiting. and ill let you all see what is GAME O-V-E-R.